It is heartless to make someone remain in an abusive situation. This calls for wisdom and balance: Certainly we should do everything we can to protect victims of abuse while at the same time respecting the marriage bond and not dissolving it lightly.
Jones, who is the author of Faithful: A Theology of Sex , brings a broad conceptual view to biblical teachings on divorce. Divorce is not, of course, required in such cases, but it is permissible. I see this as a way that Jesus protects us in a world torn apart by sin. Because we are precious to God, we are not required to stay in a marriage when we have been betrayed through porneia.
Porneia certainly includes adultery, because adultery violates the one flesh union. But porneia can also include violence or abuse against one's spouse because to abuse one's spouse is also to violate that one flesh union. Christian counselor and author of The Emotionally Destructive Marriage , Leslie Vernick believes there is a strong biblical warrant for allowing people to experience consequences for their sin see 1 Corinthians —12 ; James —20 ; Galatians In her work with women who are experiencing such situations, Vernick first counsels a wake-up call conversation with their husbands, followed by separation if the husband fails to turn from his sin.
A separation of this sort, undertaken with the support of wise counsel, clarifies the destructive consequences of sinful habits and could have the potential to lead to eventual healing and restoration.
Vernick emphasizes that there is a difference between a difficult or disappointing marriage and a destructive marriage. It is easy to become weighed down by the shame of past mistakes.
Within the church we see various responses to tough marital struggles. Some may counsel for divorce too hastily, advising couples to forgo the difficult peaks and valleys that are part of any marriage and, in essence, ignoring the high value the Bible places on the marriage commitment. Meanwhile others may respond with legalism, pressuring fellow Christians to stay in marriages that are clearly destructive and unsafe. There are no cookie-cutter answers to some of these difficult questions.
The tension remains: Marriage is a lifelong commitment that is only broken for the most severe reasons. Only as we stay engaged with the whole Word of God can we navigate this tension.
Rebecca Florence Miller is a freelance writer and editor, and a blogger at Patheos. You can also find her at RebeccaFlorenceMiller. Grapple with these difficult issues further by exploring real-life stories of heartbreak, divorce, healing, and faithfulness to God.
This article was originally published as part of Her. To unlock this article for your friends, use any of the social share buttons on our site, or simply copy the link below. Yet, it is His will to allow divorce. God would prefer every marriage to continue because God planned for marriage to last until death parts husband and wife.
God says that marriage is friendship and mutual commitment. Marriage should be a symbol of love and respect, and it is symbolic of Christ and the church Ephesians Therefore, God hates divorce but permits it for the reasons stated above.
Jeremiah Why does God hate divorce if He allows it? Bible Question: Why does God hate divorce if He allows it? Bible Answer: Scripture teaches that God allows divorce for several reasons. Conclusion: God would prefer every marriage to continue because God planned for marriage to last until death parts husband and wife.
Biblical Divorce and Remarriage Can someone be guilty of adultery if divorced against their will? Am I bound to my wife the rest of my life? Should married couples divorce when there is physical abuse? When Should A Spouse Flee? Like The Master Ministries P. Box Tucson, AZ A non-profit, c 3 corporation.
So what Christ was telling men — if your wife commits adultery has sex with any man but you or sexually defrauds you refuses to have sex with you as her covenant of marriage demands then you as a man can rightly divorce your wife.
Also during the betrothal period if a woman was found to have sex with another man other than her betrothed husband he could divorce her as Joseph sought to quietly put away Mary when he thought she had sex with another man before they were married Matthew A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. Paul tells us that a husband or wife are no longer bound to their life long duties to their spouse if their spouse departs.
They are free from these obligations and thus free to divorce and remarry. But there is absolutely no reason why this would not apply to ALL cases of abandonment even in marriages where both the husband and wife are professed believers. We must also understand that if a husband departs from his wife he is neglecting his duties to provide food, clothing and sex to his wife which is also a violation of Exodus If a wife departs from her husband then she would be neglecting her duty to have sex with her husband sexual defraudment and a husband would have grounds to divorce his wife based on Matthew for fornication which includes sexual defraudment.
The Bible is not gender neutral on all the reasons that a man or woman may divorce their spouse. In some cases it is gender specific. God allows a man to divorce his wife for these reasons.
God allows a woman to divorce her husband for these reasons. As you can see from the list above which is directly derived from the Scriptures there are some differences as to the reasons a man can divorce his wife and the reasons a wife can divorce her husband. It is common today for most Christian theologians to apply gender neutral standards to many things in the Bible but divorce and marriage are areas where God is anything but gender neutral.
The first glaring difference between men and women is that a woman does not have the right to divorce her husband for not being a virgin. Another difference is that women do not have the right to divorce their husbands for adultery. It is true that Christ defined two new types of adultery. The second new type of adultery Christ speaks of is when a man commits adultery against his wife by divorcing her for unlawful reasons. Whether he is married or single makes no difference — in this situation is a whoremonger.
Biblically speaking the sexual act of adultery only occurs when a married woman has sex with a man other than her husband. It is a property crime against her husband by both her and the man who has defiled her.
So from the male perspective the only way a man goes from being a whoremonger to also being any adulterer is if the woman he sleeps with is married.
Then his sin is against both God and the husband of the woman he has had sex with. Here is the hard and uncomfortable truth that smacks right against our gender neutral and gender equality society. Christ in both Matthew and Matthew gives the fornication reason to divorce only to men in regard to their wives.
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